REPARTEE IS THAT PERFECT REPLY MOST OF US MEN RECALL LONG AFTER THE OPPORTUNITY HAS ARISEN TO EMPLOY IT. IN YOUTH WE LEARN HOW LITTLE WE CAN DO FOR OURSELVES; IN AGE HOW LITTLE WE CAN DO FOR OTHERS. A WOMAN'S PROMISE TO BE ON TIME USUALLY CARRIES A LOT OF WAIT. SIGN IN A PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE: "YOUR TENSION PLEASE." WOULDN'T IT BE NICE OCCASIONALLY TO BE ABLE TO SERVE THE KIDS A CEREAL THAT WOULD MAKE THEM GOOD AND TIRED? THERE'S A SEXY TELEPHONE OPERATOR IN MEXICO WHO WANTS TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOME JUAN. ONLY IN AMERICA DO WE MAKE INSTANT COFFEE AND DAWDLE AWAY AN HOUR DRINKING IT. A GREAT MANY PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE THINKING WHEN THEY ARE MERELY REARRANGING THEIR PREJUDICES. A CHILD MAY NOT INHERIT HIS FATHER'S TALENT BUT HE WILL ABSORB HIS VALUES. IF YOU BUY A WIG ON CREDIT YOU ARE IN DEBT OVER YOUR EARS. MOST WOMEN ARE MORE WORRIED ABOUT CLOSET SPACE THAN OUTER SPACE. INFLATION HAS ONE GOOD POINT. YOUR KIDS CAN'T GET SICK ON A NICKEL'S WORTH OF CANDY. THE THREE STAGES OF MAN: HE BELIEVES IN SANTA CLAUS, HE DOES NOT BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS, HE IS SANTA CLAUS. A BORE IS A PERSON WHO TELLS YOU A STORY FROM A TO Z-Z-Z-Z. SIGN ON A TRAVEL BUREAU: "OH! FOR A BREATH OF FRESH EIRE." OLD AGE IS WHEN YOU START GIVING GOOD ADVICE INSTEAD OF SETTING A BAD EXAMPLE BEFORE MARRIAGE, HE REACTS TO PERFUMES, AFTER MARRAIGE, TO COOKING AROMAS. SIGN ON A REPAIR SHOP: "WE CAN FIX ANYTHING IF YOU GIVE US A BREAK." AN AUCTION SALE IS WHERE YOU GET SOMETHING FOR NODDING. NOW THERE'S A MARGARINE FOR PEOPLE OVER FORTY - THE MIDDLE AGE SPREAD. SIGN IN A MUSIC STORE: GUITARS FOR SALE, CHEAP - NO STRINGS ATTACHED. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE TWO PODIATRISTS WHO BECAME "ARCH RIVALS"? IF A NICKEL KNEW WHAT IT IS WORTH TODAY, IT WOULD FEEL LIKE TWO CENTS. MASON TO DIXON: YOU GOTTA DRAW A LINE SOMEPLACE. SOME ARE KNOWN BY THEIR DEEDS AND OTHERS BY THEIR MORTGAGES. THE EXCLAMATION POINT IS DISAPPEARING; PEOPLE AREN'T SURPRISED ANYMORE. IF YOU WANT TO AVOID EXCITEMENT, JUST LIVE WITHIN YOUR INCOME. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY IS THE LIFE HISTORY OF A CAR. A WISE MAN TOLD ME RECENTLY THAT THE PERSON WHO NEVER MADE A MISTAKE NEVER DID ANYTHING. THE NICE FOLKS IN CALIFORNIA SHOULDN'T BE BLAMED FOR THE EARTHQUAKES EVEN THOUGH IT IS THEIR FAULT. IF YOU'RE ABLE TO REMEMBER YESTERDAY WITHOUT REGRET AND CAN FACE TOMORROW WITHOUT FEAR, YOU ARE SURELY ON THE WAY TO CONTENTMENT. A POLITICIAN IS A PERSON WHO IS ALWAYS ESPECIALLY INTERESTED IN WORDY CAUSES. THE REASON SOME OF US NEVER GOT OFF THE GROUND IS THAT WE WAITED TOO LONG FOR AN ELEVATOR. IF WE INSIST ON LOUNGING TOO LONG IN THE LAP OF LUXURY, WE MIGHT NEED A FINANCE COMPANY TO HELP US UP TO OUR FEET AGAIN. MONEY STILL TALKS, ONLY YOU HAVE TO TURN UP THE VOLUME TO HEAR IT. WE MAY BE SURE LIFE'S A GAME, AND SOME OF US ARE OBLIGED TO PLAY IT WITHOUT A SINGLE TRUMP CARD. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR GOOD, PRACTICAL ADVICE, ASK SOME PERSON WHO HAS MADE PLENTY OF MISTAKES AND KNOWS IT. THE LONGER I LIVE, THE MORE I REALIZE THE GREATEST WASTE IN OUR LIVES IS IN THE LOVE WE WITHHELD AND THE POWERS WE DID NOT USE TO GENERATE HAPPINESS. DON'T ADVERTISE YOUR TROUBLES; YOU WILL NEVER FIND A MARKET FOR THEM ANYWHERE. SHE SAYS, "IT'S TOO FOOLISH FOR WORDS", BUT APPARENTLY FEARING WE DOUBT IT, SHE USES A THOUSAND OR MORE TO INFORM US COMPLETELY ABOUT IT. EVEN FRIENDS WHO SAY THEY WILL, OFTEN DO NOT HAVE THE SKILL, AND THOUGH THEY ARE OF THE STAUNCHEST HEART, THEY FACE DEFEAT THE DAY THEY START. THEY SAY THE BEST MEN ARE MOLDED OUT OF FAULTY CLAY AND, FOR THE MOST PART, BECOME MUCH THE BETTER FOR BEING A LITTLE IMPERFECT. WHEN YOUR SHIP FINALLY DOES ARRIVE, THERE'S USUALLY A GROUP OF RELATIVES WAITING ON THE PIER. WE'RE OLD WHEN OUR KNEES START TO BUCKLE AND OUR BELTS WON'T. IT ONLY TAKES A LITTLE LAZINESS TO MAKE A TEMPORARY SETBACK BECOME A PERMANENT ONE. MAYBE SO MANY FOLKS NOW HAVE THEIR BACKS UP TO THE WALL BECAUSE THEY HAVE PUT UP TOO MANY FALSE FRONTS. A WEALTHY MAN'S SECRET FORMULA FOR SUCCESS: RISE EARLY; WORK LATE; STRIKE OIL. ANOTHER THING WE NEED TO ADD TO THE NICETIES OF OUR POLITE SOCIETY IS A SPECIAL UTENSIL WITH WHICH ONE CAN EAT SPAGHETTI GRACEFULLY. WHOEVER CAN MAKE TWO EARS OF CORN GROW WHERE ONLY ONE GREW BEFORE DESERVES BETTER OF MANKIND THAN THE WHOLE RACE OF POLITICIANS PUT TOGETHER. IN SEARCHING FOR ALTERNATE ENERGY SOURCES, WE SEEM TO FORGET GOOD OLD ELBOW GREASE WHIS IS ALWAYS RENEWABLE. SMALL CHILD CLAD IN PAJAMAS SAYING BEDTIME PRAYERS: "GIVE US THIS DAY OUR JELLY BREAD". WE ARE THE CUSTODIANS OF OUR DEEDS TODAY, BUT WE CANNOT CONTROL THE END RESULTS. IN TIME, EACH ACT BEARS ITS OWN FRUIT. WHETHER IT HAPPENS ON THE ROAD OR IN AN ANGRY ARGUMENT, WHEN YOU SEE RED, STOP! WITHOUT DOUBT, LIFE'S GREATEST MYSTERY CONTINUES TO BE HOW ANYTHING SO SCARCE CAN BE CALLED COMMON SENSE. YOU CANNOT FURTHER THE BROTHERHOOD OF MAN BY FOSTERING CLASS HATRED. - ABRAHAM LINCOLN BE CAREFUL OF WHAT KIND OF HABITS YOU ARE FORMING. THEY WILL GROW FROM SPIDER WEBS TO CABLES. WE CANNOT ASCERTAIN OUR STRENGTH UNTIL WE LEARN WHAT ARE OUR WEAKNESSES. BUT WHAT A PITY! SOME FOLKS GROW OLD BEFORE THEIR TIME TRYING TO LOOK YOUNG PAST THEIR PRIME. IT IS IN FACT A PART OF THE FUNCTION OF EDUCATION TO HELP US TO ESCAPE, NOT FROM OUR OWN TIME - FOR WE ARE BOUND BY THAT - BUT FROM THE INTELLECTUAL AND EMOTIONAL LIMITATIONS OF OUR TIME. - T.S. ELIOT NEVER LET YOUR HEAD HANG DOWN. NEVER GIVE UP AND SIT DOWN AND GRIEVE. FIND ANOTHER WAY. AND DON'T PRAY WHEN IT RAINS IF YOU DON'T PRAY WHEN THE SUN SHINES. - SATCHEL PAIGE A MAN WHO LISTENS BECAUSE HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY CAN HARDLY BE A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION. THE ONLY LISTENING THAT COUNTS IS THAT OF THE TALKER WHO ALTERNATELY ABSORBS AND EXPRESSES IDEAS. SOON AFTER A HARD DECISION SOMETHING INEVITABLY OCCURS TO CAST DOUBT. HOLDING STEADY AGAINST THAT DOUBT USUALLY PROVES THAT DECISION. THERE ARE PROBABLY ONLY TWO REASONS WHY WE DON'T TRUST PEOPLE: ONE, BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW THEM; AND THE OTHER, BECAUSE WE DO. CHILDREN HAVE NEITHER PAST NOT FUTURE; THEY ENJOY THE PRESENT, WHICH VERY FEW OF US DO. PROMISES ARE LIKE BARGAINS - THEY ARE MADE WHEN BOTH PARTIES BELIEVE THEY ARE GETTING A BETTER DEAL THAN THE OTHER PERSON. MAKE IT A POINT TO INDULGE IN AT LEAST ONE HEARTY LAUGH EVERY DAY. iF NOTHING FUNNIER COMES ALONG, LAUGH AT YOURSELF. NOBODY SEES A FLOWER - REALLY - IT IS SO SMALL - WE HAVEN'T TIME - AND TO SEE TAKES TIME LIKE TO HAVE A FRIEND TAKES TIME. - GEORGIA O'KEEFE ALL CHARMING PEOPLE HAVE SOMETHING TO CONCEAL, USUALLY THEIR TOTAL DEPENDENCE ON THE APPRECIATION OF OTHERS. CHILDREN HAVE NEVER BEEN VERY GOOD AT LISTENING TO THEIR ELDERS, BUT THEY HAVE NEVER FAILED TO IMITATE THEM. - JAMES BALDWIN THERE IS NO LIMIT TO THE AMOUNT OF GOOD YOU CAN DO, IF YOU DO NOT CARE WHO GETS THE CREDIT. THE IMPERSONAL HAND OF GOVERNMENT CAN NEVER REPLACE THE HELPING HAND OF A NEIGHBOR. - HUBERT H. HUMPHREY THE LARGER THE ISLAND OF KNOWLEDGE, THE LONGER THE SHORELINE OF WONDER. THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF HIGHWAYS IN THE COUNTRY; UNDER CONSTRUCTION AND UNDER REPAIR. AN OPEN MIND IS A WONDERFUL THING IF A MATCHING MOUTH DOESN'T GO WITH IT. AFTER PRICING NEW CARS IT BEGINS TO LOOK LIKE THE ECONOMY MODEL IS THE ONE YOU ARE NOW DRIVING. CHARACTER IS LIKE A TREE, AND REPUTATION IS LIKE ITS SHADOW. THE SHADOW IS WHAT WE THINK OF IT; THE TREE IS THE REAL THING. IF CHILDREN GREW UP ACCORDING TO EARLY INDICATIONS, WE SHOULD HAVE NOTHING BUT GENUISES. THE MAN WHO KNOWS HOW WILL ALWAYS FIND A PLACE IN LIFE, BUT THE MAN WHO KNOWS WHY WILL PROBABLY BE HIS BOSS. AIM AT THE SUN, AND YOU MAY NOT REACH IT; BUT YOUR ARROW WILL FLY HIGHER THAN IF AIMED AT AN OBJECT ON A LEVEL WITH YOURSELF. BY WISDOM A HOUSE IS BUILT, AND THROUGH UNDERSTANDING IT IS ESTABLISHED; THROUGH KNOWLEDGE ITS ROOMS ARE FILLED WITH RARE AND BEAUTIFUL TREASURES. IF IGNORANCE IS NO EXCUSE, THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE MUCH USE FOR IT. WHEN BABE RUTH WAS ASKED HOW HE FELT ABOUT MAKING MORE MONEY THAN THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, HE REPLIED, "I HAD A BETTER YEAR THAN HE DID." IT'S THE CHILD WHO CAN'T FIND A MISSING SOCK WHO KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE YOU HID YOUR FAVORITE MAGAZINE UNTIL YOU HAVE TIME TO READ IT. ONE OF JOHN F. KENNEDY'S MOST APPEALING TRAITS WAS HIS MODESTY. A NEWSPAPERMAN ONCE ASKED HIM HOW HE BECAME A WAR HERO. "THEY SANK MY BOAT," HE REPLIED. A LAKE IS THE LANDSCAPE'S MOST BEAUTIFUL AND EXPRESSIVE FEATURE. IT IS THE EARTH'S EYE, LOOKING INTO WHICH THE BEHOLDER MEASURES THE DEPTH OF HIS OWN NATURE. - HENRY DAVID THOREAU